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Protecting my Sons from The Man Cold

July 19, 2011

I have a new goal in life.   My goal is to raise my two sons to be impervious to The Man Cold.  I doubt this is possible since I think this ailment must not hit until a man marries or fathers children, which means I will have lost my mommy powers by then.  I am sure my husband never suffered from this malady when in the care of my mother-in-law.  She’s a wonderful, warm and caring person, but she’s also a no-nonsense, don’t-give-in-to-the-temper-tantrum caregiver.   However, I think it’s a noble cause.  So, for the sakes of my sons’ future wives, I will try.

It is with this solemn purpose in mind that I make this pledge.  When my adult son shows the first symptoms of a Man Cold, I will:

  • Remind him that his three-year-old is the only one in the family who actually needs help getting her own food.
  • Urge him to still attempt to carry his tea cup to the kitchen, despite his weakness.
  • Remind him that his wife managed to drive to school and sporting events in between bouts of throwing up while pregnant, so you can make it to your son’s little league game with a cold.
  • Encourage him to suffer in another room where he has no audience.
  • Direct him to the medicine cabinet where the over-the-counter drugs live so he can end his suffering with the help of modern medicine.
  • Make him watch this video:

(Thank you to atomicwedgietv for the video!)

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