Mom Got Her Wish…Times Three

I curse you with children
who act just like you!!

When I was an adorable, angelic, perfect child, I remember my mom gritting her teeth and muttering under her breath, “Just wait until YOU’RE a mother!!”

In my elementary years, I took it as yet another version of, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

In my teenage years, I would come back with a venomous, “I’ll NEVER treat MY kids like this!!!”

Now, in my thirties, with three kids, I realize her words weren’t about education or insight.  No, those words were a curse.

In all of our exhaustion, tedium, and daily frustrations as moms, the universe grants us all one magical power.  The power to curse your own children with offspring just like them.

I remember hearing those words muttered at various times while growing up.  My earliest memories of the curse started quite young.  They tell me I was a screamer as a baby, and only grew to an even louder child.

I don’t think I could have been all that bad, though.  If I had been, I don’t think I’d have such sensitive hearing now as an adult.  After all, my 3-year-old daughter is MUCH louder than I ever was.  She just HAS to be.  And she never, ever, ever stops talking.  Never!

Never did I come home with a note from my first grade teacher that said, “Stacey talks too much in class,” and throw it away on the top of the garbage, then lie about it to my mother.  No, that wasn’t me.

And I’ve heard stories of frequent spills and knocked-over plates of food, but they can’t all be true, can they?  I wonder this as I’m on my hands and knees picking food up off the floor under the dining room table, and while I’m pouring seltzer and white vinegar on the red wine spill my 7-year-old just splashed on our new couch.

As far as my attitude, I know I was born under the sign of the bull as a Taurus, but surely I’m not that stubborn.  I have never ignored any suggestions, no matter how well-reasoned they were, for the single reason that they were offered by my mother.  No, that doesn’t sound like me.

My middle child, though?  Oh, his November birthday must have been a mistake.  Just yesterday, he lost his screen time in increments for a number of reasons throughout the day until it was completely gone.  After his initial screaming fit subsided, I thought he had accepted his fate.  But an hour later, he came to me and said, “Mommy, do you want to know where my plants vs. zombies pictures are?”

I took the bait and responded.  “Where are they?”

“I cut them up into pieces without coloring them since you punished me and took away my screen time,” he announced.

I told him the meaning of “cutting off your nose to spite your face.”  Then he stormed upstairs and slammed his bedroom door.

Stubborn and spiteful?  I have no idea where he gets that from!

Loud?  Incessant? Messy? Clumsy? Stubborn? Spiteful?

Who are these children and where on earth did they get such annoying habits!!

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
I AM my mother, after all.

My mom’s favorite saying now is when I often utter the rhyme:

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I AM my mother, after all!”

I imagine my mom is reading this now, rubbing her hands together with a maniacal cackle bubbling up toward the surface as she sees her curse bloom to fruition.

I think I’m going to start muttering my own curse from now on:

“Children, you mock and argue, too.  Someday you’ll have kids JUST LIKE YOU!!”

They say revenge is a dish best served cold.  It may have taken thirty years, but I hope you’re enjoying the best Mother’s Day gift you’ll ever get, Mom!