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Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate Cicadas

May 29, 2013

It is cicada season here in New Jersey.  Something called the 17-year brood is upon us.  Some are excited over this new surge.  They call them “fascinating creatures,” and pick them up in their bare hands, examining them like scientists.  These are the good moms, teaching their kids about nature.  Others, like me, are cowering in fear inside my house, despite the beautiful spring weather.  We crack open our front doors and do an anxious sweep with our eyes, making sure we can quick-walk to our cars without a cicada encounter.

If you hadn’t guessed, I hate cicadas.  Really hate them.  A lot.  For many reasons.  But I’ll list out a few, in case you were curious.

Top 10 Reasons Why I HATE Cicadas

  1. They’re creepy, crawly bugs.  Period.  I rank them up in my top 3 most-hated bugs, right along with cockroaches and cave crickets.
  1. cicada litterbugsYou know they’re creepy when even the bible mentions them as proof of God’s wrath.
  1. They rise from the ground in the night like zombies.
  1. They’re litterbugs, leaving their empty carcasses all over the place.
  1. They have a Facebook presence. I have threatened to de-friend anyone who continues to post pictures of these nasty little critters on my Facebook feed.
  1. cicada uglyThey’re really ugly. So maybe that’s not the most politically correct thing to say, but these things have beady little red eyes, black skeletal wings, and nasty shells and bodies.  Oh, and my son says they have green gooey blood. He figured that out when he stepped on one by accident. Blech!
  1. The noise, ohmigod, the NOISE!!  Truly deafening sound like a hundred police car sirens stuck mid-doppler pass on a single, annoying, high-pitched note.
  1. The numbers. It’s the 17-year brood, which apparently means there are thousands upon thousands here for the next 6 weeks.
  1. They stick.  To everything.  To car tires, to siding, to lamp posts, to cement, everything. Just when you think it’s safe to walk down the sidewalk to your car, you see that the undersides of all of the leaves are coated with their sticky little bodies and shells.
  1. The cost. I hate them so much, I’m paying my kids a quarter for every shell or bug they remove from our walkway, driveway, steps and patio.  I’m not a killer.  If they stay away from my house and the places we pass through, I’d leave them alone.  But perch on my porch, and I will pay to have you squished. Today’s cicada total so far is $5.75. I’ll be in the poor house by the end of the infestation…which is fine by me, so long as it’s a cicada-free poor house!

cicada pull weeds

4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 30, 2013 3:21 PM

    I seriously knew nothing of this until watching Live with Kelly & Michael yesterday. Gross! Crunch.

  2. Bella permalink
    May 18, 2017 2:39 PM


  3. Jen permalink
    July 19, 2019 7:29 AM

    After a really long week full of exhaustion and not getting any rest on my days off, I came outside to sit on my porch at 5 am, already disgruntled, bleary-eyed and generally disliking life in general only to see a cicada stuck right by my front door. Just the sight of these things makes my skin crawl, but your article made me laugh despite all this. So thank you!

  4. May 6, 2021 11:13 AM

    Why do people hate cicadas?… I think they are kinda cool. I just don’t want to wake up at night hearing them. XD

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